For those who feel their time is wasted in dating – I too share these thoughts on the numbers game that is online dating. I have learnt more about myself and others than I could have every imagined!
I thought I posted this early last week. As it turns out I left it as a draft and didn’t get to posting … so here it is.
As the old adage goes, ‘If life gives you lemons make lemonade’. Basically if you experience something horrible and sour then turn it into a positive and sweet experience.
So here I was last night feeling sorry for myself and unable to think clearly enough to make any sense of complex PhD content. I just happened to have quinces thanks to a neighbour of the house I am housesitting (just another part of my life) so I did what I could do – cook.
When I moved into this house a few weeks ago the instruction note I was left included “…and do something with the quinces”. My first thought was “what on earth would I do with quinces!”. Last night was the night I decided to work that out.
On to Google I went and simply searched ‘quinces’. I had thought about jam or jelly/paste but figured I wouldn’t have enough for that. Ha! Boy was I wrong. Only 4-5 is needed for a jar or two of jam and a heap of jelly. Clearly I have never done anything with quinces before but I knew quince jelly was a sweet taste sensation that goes wonderfully with crackers and cheese.
After a quick glance at various quince recipes I decided on a blog post recipe for quince jelly from the ever sweet and delightful Julie Goodwin.
This managed to take my mind off my self-pity, at least when I was chopping, stirring, and stirring some more. I also didn’t think too far ahead with regards to the time I was starting this process. Needless to say I decided not to stay up until after midnight and instead took the sticky mixture off the heat after about 3 hours (instead of the recommended 5 hours) and poured it into a dish for it to sit overnight.
After a big sleep in I checked my jelly – you can see the little corner I cut out to taste test. The mixture was still too much like jam and not set like a jelly should be so into a very low oven for a few hours it went.
Now it is nice and firm and ready for tipping out and dividing into pieces for sharing. Only those who are familiar with jams and jellies will realise that I actually burnt the mixture on the stove. Otherwise it is absolutely sweet and delicious!
Back to PhD agony today.
So my post today is both one of happiness and… Actually, scrap that. I’m not sure there is a lot of happiness at all.
New life should be a time of happiness and joy.
Well … In this case it is fraught with confusion, anger, unknowing, and insecurity.
I have a great friend who was/is a grandma at a young age. She called me last night to tell me she was going to be a grandma again…not because the same child is having a second baby but because her youngest is going to be a dad. He is 20 years old and has his first girlfriend. They’ve only being seeing each other for 6-8 weeks. The girlfriend is pregnant.
Besides the obvious speed of this, there are many mmmm let’s say they are ‘issues’. Firstly, she’s nuts…I normally can and do get along with anyone but she gives me the creeps. I don’t know why but as soon as I met her I couldn’t look at her like I would anyone else. It seems ridiculous especially as I’m old enough to get past these sorts of things…but I just sensed badness! Secondly, she is now emotionally manipulating this young guy into feeling guilty about not being able to provide financially. He has been presented with lists …a pile of lists…of baby stuff and medical appointments that she says he needs to pay for. He is an apprentice and has no money. What ever happened to sharing costs or working together? Finally, he wants to spend some time talking with her about all of this but she has been so nuts he can’t get in a clear conversation. She wanted him to go to a party but he suggested that before they go out and pretend to be ok that they talk before then. that didn’t happen, so he didn’t go. She proceeded to show up at my friends place (he lives with his mum…as you do at 20) and storm through the house and yell at him for not going to the party. Oh, and he was asleep as he gets up for work at 3-4am. Their relationship is not going to last and she will make this much more difficult than it needs to be. He is trying to hold it together and wants to be involved fully because he knows so well what an absent father feels like. There is something about all of this that just doesn’t seem to add up, that is too convenient within a range of circumstances that are beyond this post to explain.
Why is it that those who are not in a position to have children are super fertile and those who desperately want children are not? How do two young people who haven’t had sex before get pregnant (even with condom use) and I can have sex for years, even unprotected sex, and not once have I ever thought I could be pregnant?
I know it’s horrible to be judging the situation and to be taking some of it personally but I can’t help but wonder what the hell do the higher powers think they’re doing!?