My name is Emma. I am a 33 year old Australian woman. Am I an average woman? I’m not sure. I certainly don’t feel average. When I go to a shopping centre or a cafe or simply walk down the street I am faced with the fact that I am not average. I do not have a partner, I do not have children, I am articulate, I do not rely on anyone financially (except for the bank for my house now – I am a single woman who is building a house), I am doing a PhD, I don’t rely on make up or jewellery to leave the house, and am not into wearing those shiny leggings that everyone goes running in.
Watching all those young mums with their super fashionable babies in their super fashionable prams with their super fashionable I-just-threw-something-on-and-look-awesome outfits makes me enormously envious and angry all at the same time. I don’t know why. I love the idea of meeting the girls from mums group for brunch and laughing at our simply too-gorgeous-to-be-true kids and talking about how wonderful our handy husbands are at building our family business while others glare at us and our brilliance. I know that won’t be me. I just want a little of it…just a little bit of sparkle. On the other hand it all seems so selfish and unimportant. How are these people contributing to a better world? They are not. They are creating more population that we just don’t need. But I still want it. It seems simpler.
So I have been and am searching for a grand love – someone who gets me and thrills me by being who they are. IT IS FRIKKIN HARD! It’s also quite an interesting exploration of the new dating scene and how we communicate now.
I’ve been online on and off for a number of years and finally thought that all of this must be for something if it isn’t getting me love. So now this is my way of giving online dating another purpose. To write about it.